Women, Men and Grace. Titus 2.1-8

Woman, are you full of grace—for yourself as well as others?  Seriously … are you forgiving?

“There is no longer Jew or Gentile, slave or free, male and female. For you are all one in Christ Jesus.”¹  ‘Remarkable, considering the time period in which Paul lived—when women had no rights at all, but were mere possessions!  Yet Paul gave some specific instructions for men, and then for women … in his letter to the Ephesians, Colossians, to Timothy, and also here in Titus chapter two.²

Seems like there must be some differences in the working out of Christian faith that may be affected by our gender.  Hmmm.   See I realize there are so many variables that go into how we understand God, his view of us, and his desire to have relationship with us . . . his unfailing love and never-ending grace … yet it is worthwhile to entertain the notion that perhaps men and women respond differently – at least a good portion of them. 

In twenty some odd years of ministry – serving women, men and teen-aged young people, the most difficult thing for all to come to terms with, has to be God’s amazing grace.                                                                                                                Grace is the vehicle which carries God’s love to us,                                                      Grace brings with it mercy and forgiveness.            There is nothing fair about grace…          It comes free of charge to people~           to people who do not deserve it.                                                                          And so we stumble.      ‘Two of the major causes of emotional problems among Christians are the failure to understand, receive, and live out God’s unconditional grace and forgiveness; and the failure to give out that unconditional love, forgiveness, and grace to other people … We read, we hear, we believe a good theology of grace.  But that’s not the way we live.  The good news of the Gospel of grace has not penetrated the level of emotions.³

It seems like both men and women can intellectually comprehend that there is nothing fair about grace; it just is – because it is who God is; truthfully, it defines him.  But somehow then there seems to be breakdowns in the way women in particular apprehend that grace, especially when it comes to forgiving themselves of past sin or failures.  Take the matter of abortion – it took two people, male and female, to create that baby, but usually it is the female who bears the shame in her soul and being for a lifetime.  I know—I have sat alongside many a woman who has cried soulfully admitting her shame.  In general, women seem to have a much harder time getting over shame.  Or is it that men just bury theirs?

Starts young actually.  A young man who ‘sows his wild oats’ may actually get a slap on his back from Dad, while a promiscuous female, disdain; why the difference?  Is not purity meant for male and female?  When did we allow for this double standard in morality?  Consider even John chapter 8 where the ‘woman caught in adultery’ was brought before Jesus--the Jewish leaders trying to catch Jesus in a snag of the Law--while snagging the woman in the very act!  Wait … where was her partner?  Why wasn’t he subject to stoning, just as the woman? 

Asking for some response on this matter of men, women and grace, one reader commented, “Although I truly believe Grace is not gender specific, when it comes to applying it to oneself possibly you have a point in saying that men apply it to themselves more readily.   Where on the other hand, possibly women extend it to others more readily. Definitely I believe women extend mercy to their children much more readily …”

While another simply said, “Likely the depth of understanding God’s grace and love will be the determining factor,” regarding the different ways men and women interact with grace.  Perhaps, but I think there are things like our acculturation or socialization that are factors in accepting God’s grace, particularly in the form of forgiveness of ALL sins, and allowing him to set us free from the accompanying guilt.

Either way, this one thing I know:  if as individuals, you and I place our trust in God, understanding what Jesus did for us in his life, death and resurrection, we are forgiven.  So, why would we choose to willingly live in a state of unforgiveness — specifically, not forgiving ourselves…or others?!  How prideful, when you come right down to it.  That we would think we know more than the God of the universe, and Jesus who gave it all…!

Man, woman . . . receive grace, and give it in the form of forgiveness of self, of others.  Amen.

Christine