Need some Change?  Try Circling.

Good Day. 

“What comes to mind when you think about God is the most important thing about you.”¹ And one thing is for sure—what you think about God certainly influences if, how, and what you pray.  There is nothing God loves more than keeping promises, answering prayers, performing miracles, and fulfilling dreams!²   And my friend, if you believe that bold statement, then you will certainly be more likely to pray!  After all, Scripture says, “The effective prayer of a righteous man can accomplish much.”³

As for me, I believe in the power of prayer because I believe in a powerful God who loves to be intimately involved in our hearts and lives.  I believe in the power of prayer because I have seen direct answers to prayers I have prayed.

My daily prayer includes drawing circles in my journal, in which I write initials of loved ones and accompanying requests … heart change, job, marriage, healing, etc.  The key to Circle praying is not giving up, but continually circling and presenting our requests to God to come and do what only he can do.

One of my circle prayers has been on behalf of my friends, the Zilski’s⁴.  Oh, and I must say, God is funny how he works!  In this case, he took just a cordial sidelines soccer parent relationship and turned it into a lifelong friendship of deep proportions.  Here’s what happened – from the beginning, probably four years ago now, as pleasantries were exchanged at team barbecues – I remember speaking in turn, sharing what I do/who I am with them, as both easily rolled their eyes behind their Foster Grants.  Later when Lindsay told me that Bill didn’t really believe in God, I can’t explain it, but a broad grin grew in my heart.  Right then I began to pray for him; I prayed that God would step into his path and get his attention. 

As for Lindsay, her Foster Grants couldn’t hide her distaste when she referenced organized religion in later conversations with me. (Welcome to the club, Lindsay-we all have been hurt by The Church in some way it seems.)  Months and months went by as we watched our sons kick that ball back and forth down fields all over Southern California.  Genuine affection grew and we began to sit near each other regularly.  Another mom from our team invited Lindsay to Women of Passion⁵, and she came … and she came back … then she came back again! 

In early July, I learned that Bill and Lindsay’s marriage was in deep weeds, with little hope of making it.  Seems it had been bad for ten years or so, and with the youngest son getting older, plans were in the works to dissolve things.  She was looking at apartments, ready to make a move. 

Not so fast.  Over time, I had developed a safe friendship with each of them, and I can’t explain it, but something just came over me.  As things spun out of control for them, I felt prompted to ask if they would consider meeting with me, just once, to see if there was any hope.  Keep in mind—neither bore much hope, nor even considered restoration a remote possibility … yet they agreed! 

Certainly not a marriage counselor, I prayed like crazy for God’s wisdom, for his favor, and that I might find a spark of hope in the disenfranchised couple when I went to their home one night.  God did not disappoint.  In turn, each told me why they believed their marriage was in trouble; she ‘lack of respect, lack of kindness’, and worst of all, betrayal - he had just opened a separate bank account.  Clearly, he was making plans that did not include her.  She tried to cover her hurt with bitter bravado that came out as a sharp, biting tongue.  His unhappiness in the marriage:  ‘lack of intimacy’ – so many years without affection, without physical intimacy, he was just plain angry—okay, and bitter too!  But she, ‘how can there be any intimacy without respect?!’  Me, ‘so which came first, the chicken or the egg??’ 

Somehow, each was able to share just enough.  With God’s help, I was able to maintain order and respect, and then interpret the feeling behind each of their words to the other.  The door cracked open just a little bit.  After our meeting, I communicated with each of them individually, doing more of the same—particularly appealing to the compassionate sides of each of their natures toward one another.  And God remade their hearts.  Our meeting was on a Tuesday night; by Saturday afternoon, they were holding hands on the soccer field like two lovesick teenagers.  No lie.  That was two-plus months ago, and their expression of love to for one another continues. 

‘Bill, how would you say your marriage with Lindsay is today?’  I asked him earlier.  ‘Perfect,’ he said, ‘I couldn’t be happier.’  And Lindsay?  She is remembering all the things she loved about him so much. Looking back to see her own notes to self:  “Prayer doesn't just change circumstances; more importantly, it changes us…If you keep circling, it'll come to pass in God's time."⁶

To see two people’s hardened hearts – over more than ten years’ time --  soften and turn so tender toward one another in such a speck of time, was nothing short of miraculous!  God hears and answers our prayers, and the miraculous is just as easy for him to accomplish as the mundane.  Go ahead—pray.  Then, get a little more serious about it, and circle your prayers.  God will blow your mind, just as he has blown Bill and Lindsay’s.