Paul opens up about his sin .... he makes sin personal.  Romans 7

“I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do,” Paul wrote.  Have you ever considered what sin(s) Paul battled?  I mean, let’s be honest—it is difficult to think of him struggling with temptation and sin, isn’t it?  After all,

Paul was arguably the second best teacher that ever walked this earth,

         the first and most influential missionary,

            taking the Gospel from Jerusalem into Europe and Asia,

               and informing our thinking about right Christian doctrine.   If you took him out of the New Testament, or out of Christian history, where would the Christian church be?  So, have you ever considered the substance of his sin struggle?

First, in Romans chapter 7, he explains that we were bound to the Law until we came to Christ, and from then on, it is to Christ we are bound. He contrasts our lives in two ways: without Christ, and with him.  And when we are with Christ, it is love for him that moves us to obedience, and away from sin, not because we are endeavoring to adhere to a code of conduct. 

The law was not and is not invaluable because it shows where we fall short; it shows us we are in need of redemption, in need of a Savior. 

He speaks about his own personal struggle with sin:

"I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do.  And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good.  As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me.    For I know that good itself does not dwell in me, that is, in my sinful nature.  For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out.  For I do not do the good I want to do, but the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing.  Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it.  Rom. 7.15-20

Back to my point … Paul used many words to express what seems to be an anguished struggle.   With what do you think Paul wrestled?  We cannot really know, I suppose, but I think the discussion is worthwhile just the same—for two reasons.  We consider Paul, the man, and what we know of him, and also, we realize that the sin condition affects everyone. 

What can be known is that Paul was a very proud man; he started off his letters of introduction with his credentials as a righteous Jew, schooled under the most-highly respected rabbi, Gamaliel, and also boasted of his Roman citizenship.  And then, I remember hearing lessons as a child about Paul’s warning to guard against lust—‘it is better to marry than to burn’ (with lust)1.  We also know that he had a ‘thorn in the flesh’ that gave him trouble, though we do not know for sure the nature of his physical condition—many have surmised that it was a stomach condition.  Since he instructed Timothy to drink a little wine for his stomach2, did he perhaps battle drinking too much wine?  I mean, wine in the evening to quiet his constant thinking and ease his stomach pain would have been welcome relief!  Finally, Paul was passionate, steadfast and immovable from his Christian beliefs, and therefore got quite worked up when the churches to which he wrote adulterated their thinking with the world’s thinking … reading between the lines, he may have really battled anger … 

The key word in all of this is MAY… we are only thinking out loud here.  Was his struggle with anger?  Lust?  Too much wine?  Pride?  We do not know.  But there is a little welcome relief to know that if Paul ‘missed the mark’, then we will too.  And yet, his desire was surely to live uprightly before the Lord who stepped into his path on the Damascus Road.  Whatever his struggle, he espoused winning the battle by ‘taking captive our thoughts and making them obedient to Christ’3, and so we must do the same.  Because, in the end, sin is personal, unique to the individual—as Paul wrote… “Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last, but we do it to get a crown that will last forever.  Therefore I do not run like someone running aimlessly; I do not fight like a boxer beating the air.  No, I strike a blow to my body and make it my slave so that after I have preached to others, I myself will not be disqualified for the prize.”4  Amen.

Like all of us, Paul struggled with sin, but he never gave up on striving for holy living—nor should we.

Christine